You've Reached Itachi
by S. Chiba
Summary: itachi has voicemail listen to wat he has to say... and maybe leave him a message? XD
1. The Voicemail

its here! so u can stop badgering me . cough -- xPyrusAngelx -- cough XD like always r&r or in this case leave itachi a message!

**Disclaimer:** me no owns Naruto or anything affiliated with it... kishimoto-sensei dun like to share .

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Hi, you've reached Itachi's Moving Chocolate Factory...

Itachi-sama is currently killing... er... occupied at the moment... i

f you are Sasuke press one and yell "i love u onii-chan" and he'll answer...

if this is Orochimaru press 2... Akatsuki? press 3...

if u are an undead still living member of the massacred Uchiha clan exluding Sasuke press 4 and leave your address...

if you are looking for random h-bombs... you've got the wrong place...

are you an idiot...cough i mean _valued_ customer of Itachi's Moving Chocolate Factory? then press 5...

if u are the lazy butt employees of this establishment... you're fired...

calling about the job openings? press 6...

if this is Ebay looking for the three million dollar pikachu payment... then this is Orochimaru Cosmetics...

not any of those retards? leave a message or better yet... leave me alone...


	2. Sasuke's Message

**Sasuke's Message.**

ha! yes you read right its Sasuke's message to itachi! i got the idea from one of the readers (StoryTagger --thank you soo much for giving me the idea) who left a review as a "message". I decided that Itachi needed voicemail messages to go with his voicemail. lol anyway... like always r&r and thankies!

**Disclaimer:** someone needs to teach Kishimoto-sensei how to share . i still dun own Naruto, not even a corner of the sheet of paper it was created on.

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"Hello, Itachi? Itachi? ITACHI! I know you're there! You murderer! PICK UP! Remember me? Yes **me**, your little brother, Sasuke Uchiha. I'm calling because I want you to know that one day I** WILL** kill you and take revenge for all Uchiha's, you weasel. Oh and um… you should be getting a bill from the Pokemon Medical center… Pikachu got kinda sick and needed surgery… so… yeah… Also… I got this letter from Otouto Angels? WAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU SOLD THE RIGHTS TO ME? AND JUST SO YOU'D HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO MAKE SASUKE TRUFFLES? Really, what kind of older brother are you?? Which brings me to my next thing…the real reason I called was because Orochimaru-sama would like a shipment of Sasuke Truffles, preferably by Monday? I think that's it. Yes, that's all. Good bye, brother. Oh yeah, and one more thing… Orochimaru-sama said that your shipment of Purple Passion nail polish from Orochi Cosmetics should be arriving soon. That's all. Good bye and pick up the phone next time."

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yay! i dont think i did too bad?? though u all r free to disagree... i'm thinking of writing one for the other characters too so if you have an idea of request tell me and i'll try to work it into one of the future ones. thankies again and visit the review button down there wontcha? i think its getting a little lonely lol


	3. the random extra one?

okay this one i didn't write... it was left as a review from one of meh best friends and i loves it so i decided to make it a msg? yeah... so anyway this -points to message below- belongs to Tomi-chan aka on fanfiction HimeTomi. (i has her permission to use this)

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-presses 6-

Geez. I hope i dialed the right number. Itachi, okay, well, i was reading the newspaper and I saw your ad for...something. It wasn't very specific. It just said, Need people to help with things at my place. Call this number -insert number- and press 6 if you're interested. So... I have nothing better to do, hire me? WHAT'S THE JOB ANYWAY?! I don't want to end up like that other kid who got sold for truffles. ..

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dats it! lol XD as always mr. review button would love a visit from u. and thankies for reading

peace 3


	4. Its Your Mother, Itachi

Its kisame's turn! yay! wow i'm hyper... anyway... let's get this thing going

**Disclaimer****: **Dear Kishimoto-sensei... please learn to share, Sincerely yours, a person who still doesn't own any part of Naruto

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Itachi its your moth…er… -cough- Kisame. I'm calling to remind you that you need to come out of your chocolate factory once in a while! We have missions you know. You can't just spend all your time in that stupid moving van of yours. Yeah that's right… your chocolate factory is nothing but a moving van! Also, you need to clean your room! I am not always going to be here to clean up after you, you know. Just because I carry around a weapon that looks like a giant feather duster doesn't mean I'm your maid. I'm not cleaning anymore of your dirty Akatsuki cloaks. Everything you own reeks of chocolate! And Itachi… I was cleaning your room the other day… and I found your stash of Itcha Itcha Paradise. I thought you stopped reading those! Oh and I also found a picture of a girl… pretty cute too… there was a name on the back, something like Mikoto Uchiha? Itachi-kun… you hiding something from us? Huh? That the reason why you killed everyone? Unrequited love? -chuckles- alright I'm done messing with you. But get your butt out of that van you call your "chocolate factory". You're making the whole hideout reek of sugar. It's disgusting. One more thing WE HAVE MISSIONS YOU FOOL! I have to go now... your laundry is done and I need to go dry them. Bye.

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i hearts kisame... just cuz... anyway... r&r and i'll try to get the next one out soon. XD thankies

Sere-chan


	5. Drunk Naruto

its naruto's turn! and this time he's drunk! woot! yeah its currently 11:18 pm and i'm chatting with meh friendz on AIM... loads of fun XD and hyperness. thankies to Tomi-chan for giving meh this story line? lol. idk we were on aim and started repeating the last syllable in neji and itachi... neji-ji... itachi-chi... anyway... cough enough rambling time for naruto drunkeness...

**Disclaimer: **fine! be that way, Kishimoto-sensei DONT share with us! glare

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**-hic-** Helwo? Ita... chi...chi...chi... -**giggle-** this is Naruto... I'm just callin' to tell **-hic-** u that I love your truffles. Man, chi-chi-chan, you are a genius. Dattebayo! **-hic-** Ya know, funny thing is... **-giggle-** the only reason i bought the tr**-hic-** fulles was cuz of Sas-gay... hehe... Neji... Neji-ji's Supermarket was out of ice cream and the only thing left was the Sas... Sas-gay truffles. the non-alcoholic kind too...i'm going to go now Chi-chi-chan... Iruka-sensei is taking me out for **-giggles-** ramen...**-hic-** I love ramen... you know what else I love...? Itachi-chi-chan's truffles... believe it! **-cue drunk Naruto passing out-**

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k thats all i got... that whole hyperness coffee high just went away... and now i'm about to crash on the keyboard. --' as usually r&r be appreciated and thankies for reading! i'm gonna go crash now


End file.
